📖 Instructions

1. Preheat your oven to 350°F (175°C). Grease and flour your 9x13 inch baking pan. This prevents sticking, which is a total bummer.
2. Peel and grate those carrots! Aim for about 2 cups of grated carrots. I've found using a box grater makes it super quick. You can chop them if you’re a masochist, but why?
3. In a large mixing bowl, cream together the butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Like, seriously fluffy. It should take about 3-5 minutes with a mixer. Use a hand mixer if you're feeling old-school.
4. Beat in eggs one at a time. Don't just dump them in there—that's not how you make baking magic happen, people!
5. In a separate bowl, whisk together the flour, baking soda, baking powder, cinnamon, nutmeg, and salt. Get that dry mix nice and combined. Don't be lazy now!
6. Gradually add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients, alternating with the oil and milk. Begin and end with the dry ingredients. Mix until just combined. Don’t overmix; a few lumps are okay, trust me!
7. Stir in the grated carrots, pineapple, and walnuts. Make sure everything’s nicely dispersed.
8. Pour the batter into your prepared pan and spread evenly. Baking is about precision, my friend. Make it even!
9. Bake for 30-35 minutes, or until a wooden skewer inserted into the center comes out clean. This is super crucial. Don’t underbake it; that’s a crime against carrots.
10. Let the cake cool completely in the pan before frosting. Patience is a virtue, you know.
11. Once the cake has cooled, prepare the cream cheese frosting. Beat the cream cheese and butter until smooth. This will take like 2 minutes, max.
12. Gradually add the powdered sugar and vanilla. Beat until the frosting is smooth and creamy. If you're going for a smooth finish, make sure it is!
13. Frost the cake and chill for at least 30 minutes before cutting. This allows the frosting to set, giving you nice clean slices.
14. Cut into squares or your preferred shape, and serve! Don't forget to take lots of photos to share with your friends... and then devour it!